Archive for the 'Summer of Fear' Category

Summer of Fear: Squirrels. In Spaaaaace!

Saturday, June 1st, 2013

Ok, some of you, and I won’t name names here but some of you were skeptical when I pointed out the serious but under appreciated danger that Squirrels bring to humanity. Well I get the last laugh then, how safe do you feel now that squirrels have been found on Mars! What harmless activity do [...]

Summer of Fear: Ants!

Sunday, May 19th, 2013

What is scarier than Fire Ants? Crazy Ants! The Crazy Ants displace Fire Ants but are so bad people want their Fire Ants back! They are kaahrhaaaazzzayy! Nutty! Apparently Crazy in their case mostly means they look everywhere and get into everything, sort of like children. Hmmmm Crazy Children! Still, Crazy Children are better than [...]

Summer of Fear: Zombie Snakes

Monday, May 13th, 2013

Apparently when dealing with rattlesnakes cutting their head off is not enough. This is why God invented the shotgun.

Summer of Fear Safety Tip: Don’t Get Swallowed By A Hippo

Saturday, May 11th, 2013

This tip may seem obvious, but apparently being swallowed by a hippo is even less fun than you may be thinking. I am amazed he got out alive. Blood rose from my body in clouds, and a sense of resignation overwhelmed me. I’ve no idea how long we stayed under – time passes very slowly [...]

Sharks? Bears? Squirrels? No, the Real Threat Emerges

Sunday, April 21st, 2013

Now we see the real threat emerging in this year’s Summer of Fear contest, the Beaver. They can gnaw on more than just trees with those big chompers. They want revenge for all those hats people used to make out of them. But just this week, a video was posted on YouTube showing a beaver [...]

Summer of Fear 2013: The Squirrels Are Back

Sunday, March 3rd, 2013

Whelp, the squirrels are back at it. Driving harmless old ladies crazy. Can no one defend our gardens from trained squirrel commandos? These monsters must be stopped!